Polytropos

with apologies to Emily Wilson, Avril Lavigne, and Penelope

Backstory for those who don’t know: the British classicist Emily Wilson famously translated πολύτροπος as “complicated,” such that the opening line of the Odyssey becomes “Tell me about a complicated man. Muse, tell me how he wandered and was lost when he had wrecked the holy town of Troy…”

I could not stop myself. I wrote this.

Chill out, what ya yellin’ for?
Lay back, it’s all been done before
And if you could only let it be,
you would see
I like you when you snark and quip
When we sail your hollow ship
And you’re talking to me one on one
but you become

Somebody else
‘Round everyone else
You’re watching your back
Like you can’t relax
You try to be cool
You look like a fool to me

Tell me
Why’d you have to go and make things so polytropos?
I see the way you’ve got your whole circus act,
Walking a tightrope— toes
Are pointed — and you fall, and you break
And you take what you get, and you turn it into
Odyssey and promise me I’m never gonna find you faked it
No, no, no

You come over— and of course
You’re dressed up like you’re a horse
With Anticlus so let’s discuss you see
You’re making me
Laugh out when you strike your pose
Take off your Achaean clothes
You know you’re not fooling anyone
When you become

Somebody else
‘Round everyone else
You’re watching your back
Like you can’t relax
You try to be cool
You look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why’d you have to go and make things so polytropos?
I see the way you’re acting like you’re somebody else
Around these beau bros
Life’s like this, you
And you fall, and you crawl, and you break
And you take what you get, and you turn it into
Odyssey and promise me I’m never gonna find you faked it
No, no, no

When the rosy-fingered dawn
Wakes me up, I find you gone
Sailing all around the Med with some
Pirate scum
Don’t tell me what nymph or witch
Designed your latest stupid sitch
I don’t want to hear about your war
Anymore

You’re somebody else
‘Round everyone else
You’re watching your back
Like you can’t relax
You try to be cool
You look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why’d you have to go and make things so polytropos?
I see the way you’re acting like you’re somebody else,
And I just can’t cope — hoes
All love you — and you dive, and you strive
And you swive where you’re set, and you turn it into
Odyssey and promise me I’m never gonna find you faked it
No, no, no

Chill out, what ya yellin’ for?
Antinous didn’t get through my door
And if you could only let it be
You will see
Nobody else
There’s nobody else
You’re watching your back
Like you can’t relax
You try to be cool
You look like a fool to me
Tell me

Why’d you have to go and make things so polytropos?
I see the way you’re acting like you’re somebody else,
But it’s just your cool pose
I love you — and you try, and you spy
And you lie when you’re caught, and you turn it into
Honesty and promise me I’m never gonna find you faked it
No, no, no